January 19, 2012 – Wardrobe Malfunctions!!!!
Got your attention, right? I thank Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake for providing that provocative phrase to our lexicon. Fortunately, for me, the problems have not be as dramatic, but still a bit embarrassing.
Let’s start with the first time I put on my uniform. It felt good to be in uniform that first day, and that feeling lasted about two minutes. As I walked down I-95, I crossed paths with a couple senior officers. They greeted me and then started to laugh. One stopped me and asked me to tell me what was different about their uniforms and mine. I was clueless, until they gently (mostly) pointed out that my shoulder boards with my stripes were securely attached . . . BACKWARDS! I had the point out instead of in. What do I know, I’ve never warn stripes before. I quickly headed back to my cabin to adjust these only to run into my manager, Laura. I explained what had happened, and fortunately, she was kind enough not to laugh but compassionately adjusted them for me.
Then there are my troublesome name badges. We have two types, and Bruna, our Marine Admin, has graciously provided me with both. No problems the first few days. But on Turnaround Day, we needed to don our sweaters and jackets to insulate against the Northeastern Winter. I pulled on my coat as Laura and I raced to the gangway to bring our first group of sign-ons aboard. When I tried to poke the pin through my coat, it immediately bent in half. Still in a hurry (is there any time we are not in a hurry on this ship?), I pulled it straight and reattached it . . . or so I thought. An hour later, after bringing the first group onboard, I realized that the name shield had fallen off . . . somewhere. Knowing I was now out of uniform, I raced to my office to grab my magnetic badge, as I knew I would need to swap it quickly between coat and sweater several times that day.
All went well . . . for awhile. As the day went on, we got a little lazy in making sure our name badge was always transferred after we entered Celebrity Central to process our sign-ons. Realizing at one point that I had been inside for awhile and had not transferred my badge to my sweater, I decided it was important to do so. I grabbed the badge off the jacket on the chair behind me and continued my tasks. That is until Laura told me that she couldn’t find her name badge. Thirty seconds later we both identified its location. Yep, I had grabbed Laura’s badge and was wearing it. Trying to cover my error by saying I just wanted to be like my boss was a pretty lame justification.
And the magnetic badge continued to fail me. Given its ease of transferring between garments, it became my badge of choice . . . for about two days. The problem I have found that on my evening uniform coat, the material is so thick that the badge can begin to twist. If one is not paying attention it is easy to unconsciously straighten it without looking at how far it has turned. So twice in two days I straightened its horizontal axis, without paying attention to the vertical. That’s right; I started to wear my name badge upside down! Now, that was fine for me, as I could now look down and read it perfectly . . . but not so good for others . . . or for professional appearance. The first time it was noticed by a casino worker on I-95. No worries, as it was a helpful comment to an officer before he went into a public area. However, the second time I had just entered the theater passing a gauntlet of senior officers including . . . Captain Pagonis. Somehow, I escaped that one, as NO ONE NOTICED! For some reason I then looked down to adjust it, and said a quick prayer of gratitude that my captain had not seen the faux pas. So now, lessons learned, I have a tag permanently pinned to my evening coat (that troublesome bent pin one which was recovered) and use my magnet only on my day shirt.
I still have nine days to figure out what I will do with the sweater and jacket when I next get to Bayonne!
And the (sometimes embarrassing) adventure continues . . .
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