Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

April 10, 2012

Despite the generally Kumbaya nature of my blog entries, things don’t always go so well when you are a floating community of 1200+. For those of you waiting for the detailed ‘Tell All,’ however, it ain’t gonna happen. I love my crew mates too much for that. We all make our mistakes and have the stories we would prefer not to be shared, and I absolutely won’t share those. No one lives a life that is as unblemished as you would like to believe. Trust me.

But there are moments on ship that Rodney King’s infamous comment, “Why can’t we all just get along?” rings in my ears. For those of you who don’t understand the reference . . . look it up. It is perfectly understandable that when you take over 1200 people from over 70 nations, have them work for seven days a week for 6 to 8 months at a time, that there will be moments when either tensions or simple human nature will make things not go as well as you hope. And when you are part of the Human Resources team, you get to see and experience the hidden underside of ship life more than you care to.

Let’s start with the clash of cultures. When I teach our Cultural Diversity class I make a point to stress that we ultimately have become one culture, the Celebrity Culture. I do encourage all of our crew members to take advantage of the amazing gift we have received of being able to work with people from so many nations. Where else beyond the United Nations will this happen? Yet, there are some cultural archetypes that mix like oil and water. There are some cultures that are more ‘assertive’ in their emotional and communicative styles. Other cultures are far more reserved. I won’t point out any particular cultures (you know who you are) and, in fact, individuals can belie their cultural archetype. However, patterns do emerge. When a person from a very expressive and passionate culture chooses to express their displeasure with someone from a more restrained culture, the response is predictable. Invariably, we have an aggrieved crew member in our offices seeking support and/or counsel. Our goal is to normally bring both parties in to try to defuse the situation. Sometimes we are successful. Sometimes . . . not so much.

“I didn’t hit her; I just pushed her in the face.” That is probably my favorite statement from my first contract at sea. After a conversation with HR a female crew member of the more passionate persuasion chose to make her point in the corridor with a crew member of a more reserved demeanor who was making her crazy in her passivity. I know both crew members and liked each of them. But they were truly like oil and water. Miss Aggressive failed to remember that we, like Las Vegas casinos, have cameras everywhere! When the aggrieved CM reported back to us it was easy to check the film, which resulted in a Master’s (Captain’s) hearing for the ‘face pusher.’ That line was the highlight of the Master’s hearing and for many to come. Sadly, it meant a CM was leaving us early. Diversity training doesn’t always sink in.

Sadly, the abuse of alcohol is a common problem on cruise ships. This is not a ‘tell all’ statement, for if you haven’t figured this out, this makes sense. We have a group of people away from home living in a place where food and drink are discounted. One manager told me that the Hospitality Industry consists of ‘functional alcoholics.’ While I don’t believe that is empirically true, there is a propensity to consume ‘adult beverages’ that must be appropriately dealt with.  Our ship does have a clear and enforceable alcohol policy. In fact, even ‘off duty’ you are not allowed to have a blood alcohol level of above 0.08, which is the drunk driving limit in most US states. This is when you are off duty, and definitely we aren’t driving cars. But not surprisingly, as in shore side society, this can be often exceeded. The reality for crew members is that if you do not display aberrant behavior, make it back to your cabin, and can sleep it off before work, you will be okay. However, not all CMs are wise enough to follow that prescript. As a result, we have been going through a period when we have had one over the limit case every two weeks.

HR is required to be present for every breathalyzer test on ship. When a CM is reported as being possibly intoxicated they are escorted by Security to the Security Chief’s office for a test to be administered and HR is called to be present. Normally it is the HR Manager, but if he/she is not available, the Training & Development Manager is the next in queue. I have sat in on three of these tests, now, and they are not fun. The crew member realizes at that point that they have messed up royally and are likely to be terminated. I must give kudos to our Security Chiefs for they have shown themselves consistently to be compassionate, gentle, and fair to each person brought before them. Even when the test ‘blows positive,’ and each for which I have been in attendance has, the Security Chief is almost tender in their care for the crew member, offering them water and an escort back to their cabin so they can sleep it off.

In two consecutive cases Tim and I believed it was bad ju-ju to be friends with an HR team member. One morning at breakfast I received a call from Security to witness a test. It was a person who was friends with Tim. Two weeks later Tim walked into my office with a copy of the breathalyzer test pointing at the name. It was a CM who I had recently become friends with. In each case there is a heartfelt sadness as we know that the crew member is on their way to a Master’s Hearing and a ticket home from the next port. We know the Captain would like to be compassionate, but this is a safety issue on the ship if a CM shows up for duty intoxicated or fails to report for the same reason. We understand how easy it is to ‘slip up.’ It is at that intersection at which HR lives.

Why can’t we all ‘just get along’ and fly right? The simple answer is that we are human, and there are 1200+ of us humans living together on a ship.

And the adventure continues . . .

Three Months Down

April 9, 2012

Three months ago I started my first contract with Celebrity Cruise Lines. I started the contract with many questions and virtually no answers. Would I succeed at the job? Would I successfully transition to living the life on a ship? What would be the impact of being away from friends and family for months on end? Would this be a one-time shot or would I return for more than one contract?

All these questions, and more, seem to be answered in the first three months of my contract. First, can I succeed at the job? The first third of the job was pretty straightforward and allowed me to make my connection pretty quickly. Delivering rote training classes, simple facilitations, are right in my wheel house. Since I’m very comfortable with corporate software programs, the administrative tasks were no great issue, either. The second part of the job had to do with business consulting for the various departments in the operation. My knowledge of general business has been a great help and this first contract is helping me quickly learn the cruise business. While I am bringing some value added already, this is an area that I believe will be significantly better when I return for a second contract and beyond. The third part of the job is simply caring for people, both crew and guests. This is where my former pastoral work really makes a difference for me. While I’m not changing the world, I have been able to positively affect a few people, both crew and guests. So, on balance, I feel this is a job I can do and will get better at doing as time goes on.

What about the transition to life on the ship? It is, without a doubt, a dramatically different life than what I’m used to. However, living in a small cabin instead of a big house was a remarkably easy change for me to make. Having spent time on retreat in monasteries and retreat houses has shown me how little I need. I’m probably one of the few new crew members who under-packed for my first contract. I’m likely to bring a few more ‘necessities’ the second time. I have really enjoyed meeting new crew members from around the world. Yes, there are times my introverted side kicks in and I really don’t want to deal with people. But my work in the parish has taught me how to fake it till I make it, if necessary. Working seven days a week is really not an issue for me. With traditional work, forensics coaching, and ministry, I already do that. I do find myself missing friends and family, at times, but email and Facebook when I’m ashore has been a nice lifeline. I do very much miss working with the Forensics team. That is the single biggest negative of this job. But I do like waking up each morning in a new and beautiful place. This feeds my yen to travel. And not having to cook, make my bed, do laundry, or do significant cleaning for four months is a nice side benefit.

Working out family relationships is also a challenge. However, with both children away at college they had already left home. So my leaving home was a bit less dramatic. Finding the way to live a marriage with the distance is a challenge, one that has been addressed by many military and seafaring couples for years. The good news is that starting on my second contract; I can have a guest for up to 45 of my 120 days at sea. And for this contract, Rosie will be joining me for my last eight days, courtesy of a compassionate manager.  Who knows, maybe ships will be in her future, too.

Will I return for a second contract? The intent has always been ‘yes.’ I believe I needed at least two contracts to properly evaluate this new job option. But, right now, I believe that the positive far outweighs the negative, which means I could see myself doing this for some time to come.

If I can only figure out the Forensics coaching thing . . .

And the adventure continues . . .

Easter Sunday at Sea

April 8, 2012

Holidays remind you that you are away from home. There is no question that I have enjoyed my experience during this contract and definitely plan to return for a second stint. The day to day activities of life at home are definitely missed as are the people you love who you are away from. However, the non-stop activity gives you little time to think about what you are missing until you slow down. Holidays, even at sea, seem to have a slightly slower rhythm.

It is still a workday, of course, and the daily pattern is defined by what day of the cruise it is not by a date on a calendar. But psychologically, something seems to be different. As previously stated in a blog Easter Sunday had me conducting a signoff meeting for the crew that would be leaving us two days hence. However, on the other side of the doors in the conference center our Youth Staff was putting on an Easter Egg hunt for a couple of hundred pint-sized guests. The Easter Bunny made his appearance after having passed through my conference room as I was setting up. Officers who had arrived to toast off the departing crew slid into the back door following the Bunny to nick a couple of chocolates for their own holiday consumption. Some of us had already received our chocolate treats, though, as our HR team had gone to dinner at Tuscan Grill and when we arrived, Tim had arranged for a large chocolate Easter egg to be at each of our places, accompanied by an additional chocolate bunny. After leaving the restaurant that night I ran into my friend Giorgia who was feeling a little down about being away from her family. I happily presented her with the chocolate bunny so that she could share in the celebration even while far away from her loved ones.

Easter greetings were commonly shared that day especially at the delicious crew brunch that F&B hosted. With egg and waffle stations, many dessert choices, and both carved lamb and ham, it was clearly a holiday brunch. Tim and I went straight from brunch to the bocce game against the guests. It seemed very appropriate to be out on the lawn under the blue skies on an Easter Sunday. As an added treat our Cruise Director, Paul, had arranged to do a small concert in the Grand Foyer of a few of his favorite tunes. He sang, “You Raise Me Up,” as well as three numbers from Phantom, the last as a duet with our vocal captain, Maria. I stood in the back of the crowd enjoying the music and embracing this beautiful Easter gift.

But several times during the day I found my mind in Colorado remembering the standard flow of Easter. There was no Easter vigil, no lighting of the Easter candle, no Exsultet, no Easter baskets for the kids, no traditional breakfast or watching the Disney Easter Parade. In the afternoon I imagined Rosie going over to share Easter dinner at the Hemings. The simple, comfortable routine of the holidays did not exist.

I am so blessed to be able to live this life of working on a ship. But all choices in life result in necessary tradeoffs. Some days we are simply more aware of them.

And the adventure continues . . .

Language Shorthand on Ships

April 7, 2012

There is another language that I have made much better progress on during my time on Silhouette. It is the language of ships. This is the coded vernacular born of expediency, multi-culturalism and shared experience that has resulted in a new language for this band of gypsies.

Yes, we are gypsies. We are inhabitants of another land who travel about and land on the shores and invade the homelands of others. Sometimes we even stay. In Barcelona and Malta my friend Karen ran into two former crew members from the ships now working on land. And like any immigrant we travel with our own culture, customs and language. Let me introduce you to a few of our common phrases.

You OK? That seems to make sense just as it is, but it is a common greeting of those who work on ships. We know that we are away from home for long periods of time. We know the trials and tribulations of working seven days a week for months on end. It is good to check in with each other to see how we are doing. In civilized society that would result in a long conversation that edged gently towards the goal of inquiring as to our state of mental and emotional health. In reality, we have no time for all that courtesy. So, the simple question that it expressed in passing is simply this, “You OK?” We expect each other to answer honestly. Anything less than ‘excellent’ indicates that there may be trouble in paradise. We really don’t expect people to be perfect all the time, and ‘You OK?’ allows us to take a moment to be honest on how we are feeling before we put our game face on and return to portraying the joy that will create an excellent vacation for our guests.

“On ships” is another expression that demonstrates the economy of language by which we live. Part of that vernacular is created by the diversity of languages onboard. Adverbs, adjectives, and even articles seem extraneous when we are simply trying to ensure we communicate basic concepts. ‘On ships’ is a very precise term to refer to anything that refers to our life once we started to work on a cruise line and leave the ‘shoreside’ world behind. Until a person has lived ‘on ships’ they can’t understand the life we live. They will always assume it is romantic. They won’t understand the height of the joys or the depth of the lows. So to ask someone how long they have been ‘on ships’ is to inquire as to how much experience they have in this alternate universe. Anything less than two months is no guarantee of their ability to succeed. If they are at the end of a first contract and plan to come back or are further along they have made the transition to ‘on ships.’

‘Going out’ has no relationship to whether you are dating. It is simply the expression that is used to either ask or state that you are going ashore at a port for at least a short time. “Going out” is a question if you are planning to ‘stay on’ and need to know for whom you have to cover. “Going out” is a statement if you are planning to leave the ship for some period of time to remind yourself what the world has to offer. And where we travel has a LOT to offer.

“Shining Star” and “Crew Bar” are the yin and the yang of our existence. Our customer service philosophy is called STAR service. Our awards for the top performers each month are called Shining Stars. So for us anytime that a person does something that really goes above and beyond the call of duty we immediately dub them a Shining Star. It is our way of saying ‘great job.’ ‘Crew Bar’ is the opposite. The Crew Bar refers to the smoking bar down on Deck 30. Mingles is the non-smoking gathering place on Deck 2. Deck 30 refers to the deck below Deck 0. It is the only smoking crew area on the ship. It is dark, with loud music, fueled with alcohol, definitely smoky, and basically a place that if you want to make a bad decision you probably can. To ask if someone has been in the Crew Bar is a veiled inquiry as to what choices they made the night before. I have only been in the Crew Bar twice on my contract. The first with the HR team to show we would make a presence there and I left after 20 minutes. The second I stayed longer after instigating a silly ‘raid’ from a guest lounge on Deck 3. I stayed longer this time but escaped with my integrity intact. However, I asked my cleaner to have all my clothes dry cleaned the next day, such was the impact of the smoke. ‘Crew Bar’ can often denote bad decisions.

“Talka talka” definitely comes from the Caribbean roots. It refers to any worthless conversation, but pops up in a variety of contexts. If someone is wasting your time they are ‘talka talka.’ If they are spreading slander about you it is ‘talka talka.’ If they are simply saying something that doesn’t interest you it is ‘talka talka.’ This is a very handy term in society as a whole.

My personal favorite phrase from the lingua franca is ‘Got a banana.’ This refers to anyone that has received a very negative result from something they have said or done. If someone messes up royally and is reprimanded for it they ‘got a banana.’ By the way, this is not pronounced as Americans would. It is properly stated ‘bah-nah-nah.’ You seriously don’t want to get a banana. So far I’ve avoided it but I’m sure my day will come.

Welcome to my second language of ‘ships.’

And the adventure continues . . .

Self Improvement ---Learning Italian

April 6, 2012

I joined this ship with a clear goal of improving my ability to speak multiple languages. That goal has gone mostly unrealized. To get a conviction of First Degree Murder you generally must show Means, Opportunity, and Motive. The same appears to be true with learning a language. You must have both the means and opportunity to do so and you must be motivated to pursue the available path.

The Means are definitely in place. With co-workers from 72 different nations, there are an abundance of languages being spoken. For at least half of the crew English is not a primary language. So, if you want to start learning a language, there are plenty of ‘means’ available. In addition, we have four Rosetta Stone laptops in our crew library. When I arrived they were loaded with only English and Spanish. In March, I ordered Italian and French to be added and the software arrived at the end of April. So, the means are now available in this well crafted form, as well.

Technically speaking the Opportunity is there. If you want to use Rosetta Stone, Pages, our crew library, is open 24 hours a day. Your fellow crewmates are also available at least that often. (I swear some work more than 24 hours a day, despite the fact that you may feel that is impossible.) By law within a 24 hour period we must have at least ten hours to ourselves. By Collective Bargaining Agreement, we try to cap work hours in the neighborhood of 10-11/day. So there are hours of opportunity to complete this task.

Finally, there is a Motive. The ability to speak to other crew members in their own language is attractive. As we are now in our European season there are also an increasing number of guests for whom this would be a convenience, as well. And since the Captain is Greek, learning a few words in Greek wouldn’t hurt either!

But Motive does not always translate into Motivation. The main barrier is tired people. When you have been working 10+ hours every day of the week for months on end you generally aren’t signing up for additional tasks to accomplish. The most convenient path of course would be to use the Rosetta Stone software. But since this is on a corporate license it can only be installed on Celebrity laptops. If I could have it on mine, I would be happy to sit in my room in the evenings and study for 30 minutes every day. However, the need to walk down to Pages and sit at a computer after working in an office for most of the day is not my idea of fun. With English being the official language of the company, it is very comfortable for an English speaking person to not require themselves to extend beyond his or her lexicon. But I still wanted to expand my skills.

Here’s where my friend Giorgia enters the picture. Giorgia signed on as a Shore Excursions representative about a month after I arrived and I got to know her spirited personality as she attended all the required courses for new hires. She is only one of two Italians currently working on the ship. Fortunately, though, since she is a ‘scarce commodity’ many crew members started approaching her and asked her to teach them Italian. So she came to me as the T&D Manager and asked if I would help her setup a class. Over 20 people expressed interest, but then the typical barriers appeared. Everyone cannot attend at the same hours. Housekeepers want the class late in the evening. Restaurant workers want it mid-afternoon. Bar workers prefer mornings. Shorex staff, like Giorgia, can only deliver the class at night on Sea Days. The net result is that only five students have shown up for the class. The benefit for those that showed up, however, was much more personal attention from someone who has a natural gift to be a teacher.

Just as we began to gain traction, however, we reached Europe. With a port virtually every day Giorgia’s time is now scarce. Still I maintain my set of notes carefully typed up. She always works to engage me in my limited Italian. And somehow, with that little toehold into the world of a new language, sitting at a Rosetta Stone laptop no longer seems that bad.

And the adventure continues . . .

Still a Speech Coach

April 5, 2012

Being a speech coach has been a major part of who I have been for the last eight years. Beyond being with my family, it was my single biggest loss as a result of my new job and life. I have kept my finger in it slightly by staying in touch with my team in Colorado. But it was hard to make a real impact on these students from so far away. It appears, however, that this part of my life will continue with a decidedly different team.

It started when our new Gift Shop Manager, Tian, came onboard ship in early March. As I was completing a walk around in guest areas one evening I crossed in front of our boutique shops on Deck 5. Tian strode out of one of the shops like a bullet from a gun and rapidly introduced himself to me. He described a professional development opportunity that his regional manager had given him and was told that he was supposed to talk to the T&D Manager about it. The goal was for him to improve his presentation skills particularly when he was ‘selling up’ to executives and senior managers. I agreed that I would meet with him later that week to create a plan and determine the next steps to help him move forward. In that meeting we decided that the first step for us was for me to hear him do a presentation and I would do an initial assessment to determine his areas for growth.

Having seen a number of bad business presentations in my life I was pleasantly surprised in the basic quality of his performance. There was definitely ground for improvement but a firm foundation was definitely in place. I provided him very direct and specific feedback . . . my speech team can tell you what that sounds like . . . and Tian responded by taking careful notes and thanking me for the feedback. I later followed up with a written summary to ensure he had remembered everything we talked about. Several days later he asked me if I would mind sending a similar summary evaluation to his regional manager as they wanted a firsthand assessment. Our next step was to have him rework the presentation based on the critique and deliver it again to me a week later. I was pleasantly surprised to see how coachable he was as he had addressed in whole or in significant part every item that I had mentioned. We came up with a new list at the end of this session which was designed to raise his game even more. There is no question in my mind that he will continue to improve and continue to move up in his career.

The next request came from our Shore Excursion Manager, Carolina. She had attended one of my training classes and determined that I had presentation skills that she needed to learn from. So she asked me to attend a presentation on the European ports that was soon to be held for our guests. Due to my schedule that day I needed to join her ‘in progress’ and sneaked into the balcony of the theater with notepad in hand. Her presentation was wonderful and I had very little critique to give. However, I did identify three things that I thought would take her to an even higher level and emailed those to her that evening. Her response to my suggestions was as if I had just provided her with the eternal truth of the ages! I was happy to help but kept thinking that what I was doing was pretty simple and obvious.

This past week I was approached by Kimberley, a supervisor in shops who Tian had recommended to come and see me. She had an upcoming class to teach to the gift shop team and so I sat in to provide an assessment. Once more a very solid and professional presentation but seemed to lack the passion that this young lady has  for her work and for her team. We spoke for a bit on a few topics related to how to engage both head and heart and I’m sure she'll add these new skills to her repertoire.

The word appears to be getting out that I might have something to say about the art of Public Speaking. I am once again clearly a speech coach. Just this time at sea.

And the adventure continues . . .

Incongruity in St. Lucia

April 4, 2012

My first visit to St. Lucia was a complete disappointment. Given that it was a Sunday when we were last here it was typically quiet as a number of shops were shut for Sabbath rest. In addition the port was rather bleak at a number of levels. In order to get from our dock to the ‘downtown’ area the shortest route was through what I can best describe as a ‘fishing camp.’ This was a collection of plywood and corrugated steel shacks along the waterfront next to fishing boats While this gave you a taste of the reality of many Caribbean port workers it was not exactly the face that their tourist and visitors bureau would hope to display. Once you traversed this camp it still wasn’t a particularly attractive downtown area. In one direction along the waterfront were ‘conveniences’ of the Circle K and Wendy’s variety. In the other direction were local markets with definitely local color but very little charm. The merchants generally seemed more bothered by the tourists than hopeful for any additional income.

For our last stop in St. Lucia for the season I chose to walk back into town looking for an attraction that had caught my eye last time which fed my desire to learn more about the environment and the seas in the Caribbean. The destination was a building called Our Planet and it had been funded by grants from NASA and NOA (National Oceanographic Administration). The attraction was housed unexceptionally in the upstairs of a plain shopping gallery, but for a modest $10 fee for crew members (normally $39) I chose to investigate. Once inside I chatted with the very friendly staff who told me a guided tour had just started which I could join. So I hurried ahead to join two ladies and three children who were already at the second display station. What I encountered caught me totally by surprise. I was in an incongruously high tech museum which was telling the story of the Caribbean people’s dependence on the land and the sea and the effects that changing weather and geologic patterns were having on them. The displays featured holographic imagery, interactive computer games teaching about the very real choices that they must make, and real-time satellite imagery. Needless to say the kids were fascinated, but no more so than the adults.

How had this extraordinary facility ended up in St. Lucia? I have no idea. Maybe just the good fortune of applying for the right grant at the right time, but it was two hours far better spent than wandering through the shops or bars that populated the rest of this district. I wish I had even more time to go back and explore the exhibits further but my report time was fast approaching. The hospitable museum director offered to give me a lift back to the ship but I chose to walk so I could experience St. Lucia for another 20 minutes with fresh and more positive eyes. As I approached the ship another crew member hurried up behind me and asked how I had enjoyed his home as he was from the island. I told him of my experience and he told me that to enjoy St. Lucia I needed to leave the port area at which we had docked. Perhaps next season I can get one of our locals to show me the real St. Lucia that seems to have hidden from me so far.

And the adventure continues . . .