Mirror Ballin'

March 27, 2012 – Mirror Ballin’

First, let me give a shout out to my son, Brendan, whose text led to the title of this entry. After three straight losses in Dancing with the Stripes, always the bridesmaid but never the bride, I started to wonder if I had lost my dancing mojo. Even the move back to the Sky Lounge had not restored my magic. The question now loomed whether my solo victory was an aberration never to be repeated.

Like most times when things go well, it was a night that I didn’t particularly want to be involved. That does, in fact, seem to be the norm for me in guest-facing events. This is the classic conundrum I face as one who’s introverted and extroverted sides are very much in balance. I don’t look forward to public events and then I completely throw myself into the event, only to desire to crawl back into a hole when the moment has passed. This was very much the case this evening. I had lost my customary ‘wing woman’ as Lavern was taking the night off due to a sore back. (BTW, that seems to be the epidemic affliction in our department and I can’t tell you why.) So, I visited with my friends in the Martini Bar “all by my onesies” and then headed upstairs to the Sky Lounge. Upon arrival, the crowd seemed sparse and not that into the mood of what was to soon transpire.

That would soon change. Seven officers were present to be paired with unsuspecting partners and I soon met my partner. She was nice, kind, and didn’t fit the profile of a future DWTS winner. The guest profile for victory generally includes clear grace, showmanship, and a bigger than life personality. But the key to this event is not initial perceptions but perhaps how you defy those impressions once the completion begins. Beth was clearly of that second type. She was very coachable, able to understand my quickly whispered suggestions in the middle of a dance and follow them with enthusiasm.

We breezed through the first round of ballroom, but I’m never convinced that doesn’t happen now just based on reputation, even if my partner and I stink. In the second round, with the Jive, Disco, and the Two Step, we absolutely killed it! With great confidence we started to discuss our strategy for the final round. All they needed to do was to announce the final three and we were ready to bring it.

As they announced the last cut, “all of you are winners . . . except for the three going home right now,” we heard our name called . . . and we were OUT! Or were we? The crowd erupted in Boos! In a unique political game, one of the judges had influenced the other judges to hold onto one of the other officers at my expense. But the crowd was having none of it! Pete, the Activity Manager who MCs the event, heard the crowd and reacted, allowing the crowd’s voice to rule and he added us back into the final round. We were still alive! From that point it was ‘cake.’ We knew that the crowd was behind us and so we played it big and with a partner who was willing to play her part well felt very good about the final performance. When they called us out to take our final bows I chose to do something I had never even tried before . . . I ran out and slid across the floor on my knees while I milked the crowd. Fortunately the move succeeded as planned and my partner danced around me and the crowd erupted!

Moments later we were crowned the champions, and the second ‘Mirror Ball’ was in the vault! I then thanked my partner and the MC invited the crowd to now join the dance floor as an evening of late night dancing was to begin.  It was at that minute that I realized there was one thing missing from this event transition. As the music ramped up and a few guests began to join the floor I returned to the dance floor and began to coax more to join us. I stayed on the floor dancing with guests for about ten minutes before calling it a night. I knew those last ten minutes were the most important. I had connected the officers to the guests in a way that hadn’t ordinarily been done. This is the essence of what that event is supposed to do.

And the adventure continues . . .

Fr. Matthew

March 26, 2012 – Fr. Matthew

Throughout the season of Lent we have been privileged to have a priest onboard for every cruise. The priests who serve us are arranged by an organization named the Apostolate of the Sea, and generally share the common characteristic that they are retired. Other than that they are each very unique individuals. We have had retired priests from New York, New Jersey, Boston, and even St. Thomas, USVI. We have been served by priests who had forty years experience at sea and one for whom this was his second cruise ever.  Each of them have a heart for service, though, as while they do get a cruise vacation, they are definitely still working.

Fr. Matthew came to us from serving as a chaplain at a veteran’s hospital in New Jersey. He is still active in his ministry, far short of retirement. Most of the priests can have a hard time negotiating the last flight of steps down to the Training Room where no elevator reaches. This would not pose a problem for Fr. Matthew. Finally, and profoundly for our crew, he hails originally from India. Since the largest part of our active Catholic population onboard ship is from the state of Goa in India, they would now be served by one of their own.

Matthew cruised with us on an itinerary that spanned two Sundays, so he would have two opportunities to preside at mass with the crew. In addition, of course, he led daily mass for the guests and once identified as a priest for our large contingent of Northeast Catholics was a visible presence for our guests onboard. But the first night that I brought him below decks for mass he virtually shone with joy. You could tell that Fr. Matthew was truly delighted to serve the crew in this capacity, even though the service was at 10pm and at the end of a long day. The attendees at mass, normally 20-25 in number grew to 35 that night and you could tell that he was bolstered by their energy. As he went around introducing himself to the crew in attendance you could see him brighten every time someone introduced themselves as being from Goa. The other wonderful characteristic that Matthew had was the ability to go with the flow. Mass below decks on a cruise ship is not accomplished with the same precision as in the great cathedrals. Matthew knew not to get hung up on the small details as he faithfully offered the eternal sacrifice of the mass. He finished the night in high spirits as did the crew.

One week later he was back, again, and the crowd was now over 40. We know had a better mix of nationalities and genders. (We started with almost all men from Goa, but now the Filipinos and those from Central Europe were starting to make mass a priority.) Matthew was even more energized and at the end of the mass began snapping photos of his new flock during the final song. Afterwards, of course, he insisted that he be photographed with all of those in attendance. There were a lot of bright smiles but his was definitely the brightest.

Here is a man who has found his bliss in his ministry. If more ministers would be like Matthew the Church would far better serve the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was a pleasure to serve with him and I pray our paths cross, again.

And the adventure continues . . .

Sometimes it Rains

March 25, 2012 – Sometimes it Rains

Even in Paradise, sometimes it rains. Now that should be expected, for how would paradise be so robust with flora if it didn’t rain? And how would you appreciate warm days and star-filled nights if the clouds and rain didn’t come and occasionally strip them away? But some people believe that paradise should always be perfect, according to their own unique definition, and truly seem surprised by the rain.

But for those of us in the business of creating the perfect fantasy world for our guests it can be a little annoying when the necessary rain falls at the wrong time. Especially when it falls at the wrong time again and again and again. Now, I am not talking about Great Flood style rain, but more of the dramatic tropical rain showers that make a habit of sneaking up on you when you are least expecting them. It started in St. Thomas. The morning was virtually perfect and our guests disembarked with great anticipation as they ventured into this mecca of port shopping and a diversity of natural experiences. The morning was fine but as Tim, Lavern and I sat for lunch on the aft deck we saw the mountains quickly disappear and a squall move toward the ship with great impatience. We had time to collect our plates and move inside and felt ourselves fortunate that the intense shower was over so quickly. What we didn’t know was that 10-15 minute outburst directly coincided with the return to ship of several of our largest half day tours, bathing a large number of our guests in unexpected tropical splendor. But Mother Nature was not through with having fun with us for that day. A second similar squall moved though later that afternoon, and you guessed it, right at the time that our afternoon shore excursions were all returning. Timing is everything, and for us that day, it was everything we didn’t want to experience.

The next day in St. Croix the weather was more predictable. Every hour for about ten minutes it rained at such an alarming pace you were sure that Noah would sail soon around the corner. After each intense downpour the sun would triumphantly return and give hope that the rest of the day would be what our guests expected. With great hope they would boldly venture off only to return to the ship like very drowned rats an hour later. This pattern continued faithfully throughout the day.

Our second to last port of the cruise was San Juan, and we arrived early in the morning . . . to rain. That is apparently a very unusual occurrence for Puerto Rico where according to locals the storms usually come in the afternoon and early evening. But given our luck on this cruise they chose to greet us when we arrived. As the day went on the weather slowly improved and by just before departure time the sun was shining almost as though it was mocking us for being in port too early, especially at the port where we generally wish to be there in the evening.

The spirits of the officers and staff were not high that night. Three straight days of rain do not bode well for cruise ratings. Believe it or not many guests act as though we are responsible for the weather. Guests sometimes ask us in all seriousness why we can’t avoid the weather. We can of course as are ships can certainly sail away from storm fronts and generally outrun the progress of the storm. However, that only works if we aren’t actually trying to get somewhere. When you have an actual destination then you must eventually submit yourself to the realities of jet streams, high and low pressure systems, cloud formations and ocean temperatures. Some guests immediately ask for compensation because their port experience has been ruined. That definitely takes entitlement thinking to a new level. We chose to respond by simply turning up the wattage on our smiles and personality to warm their hearts if not their bodies. We can always make it sunny on the ship. But as to the ports, “Yes, Virginia, it will rain. “

Generally at the worst possible time.

And the adventure continues . . .

A Night in Tuscan

March 24, 2012 – A Night in Tuscan

I may have mentioned that of all the specialty restaurants the Tuscan Grille is my favorite. I hope that doesn’t offend my friends who work in Lawn Club Grille, Qsine, Murano, The Porch or Bistro on 5. It’s just something about the relaxed elegance and exceptional steaks and ‘comfort food’ that make Tuscan my personal favorite. Of course, any restaurant with wine barrels on the wall of the entryway tends to get my attention.

It turns out that it is Tim’s, as well. So we agreed to have an ‘adults only’ dinner out, leaving the children (Lavern and Dwight) ‘at home.’ It was a chance to get to know the new boss and for him to get to know me. Of course when the HR Manager and the T&D Manager dine together you can be sure that lots of crew members working in the restaurant will find their way to come by the table. Some come just to visit but others, unfortunately, to try to get your help outside of office hours. Now we are happy to adjust our schedules to make sure we can help crew members but we need to have some downtime, as well. So we do our best to redirect their concerns until tomorrow but happily chat with all those who wish to simply make contact.

The meal that night was simply smashing. It started with us each getting a bowl of their Tuscan Onion Soup. It is a take on French Onion Soup, but the broth is creamier, probably not good if you are on a diet, but absolutely wonderful if your interest is taste. They then brought an antipasto platter that allowed us to graze on prosciutto, cheese, melon, and vegetables while we awaited our salads. They are proud of the Caesar salads, here, and make it at table side. I, of course, get extra anchovies. That may make others wince but it is an absolute delight for me. Finally, we each had the filet mignon. I’ve been at some fancy steakhouses in my day but that cut of meat was absolutely perfect. Tim’s was medium and mine medium rare and each was cooked beautifully and virtually melted in our mouths. There was literally no way to eat dessert .  . . but we managed. Fortunately, we went ‘light’ having gelato . . . in a freshly made waffle ‘bowl’ . . . . okay, maybe not that light. Finished off with a great cup of coffee, I knew that I was cutting back to one meal the next day!

The meal was perfect except for one disconcerting fact. We were sailing very slowly that night as we had a short distance to cover between islands. Our ship is apparently built for speed and we had the disconcerting feeling of the ship shuddering and ‘bumping’ along every few minutes. Since our restaurants are all at the back of the ship we really felt the effect. We rudely suggested to each other that we were simply running over small fishing boats, which makes us sound more callous than we are. Yet, we still haven’t gotten a good explanation as to what causes that unusual vibration at slow speeds.

Unless, of course, we were running over small fishing boats!

And the adventure continues . . .

A Slot of Fun

March 23, 2012 – A Slot of Fun

If your only knowledge of ship life was these blogs you would assume that working at sea was one big party. That’s definitely not the case, of course, but I imagine that people want to read entries about doing paperwork, assembling presentations, or teaching classes. That wouldn’t make for very engaging ready. So, instead I focus on fun, at the risk of you wondering why I’m getting paid.

And last night’s Guest Officer Slot Tournament was a lot of fun! It started in the typical style with the ‘officer auction’ as we were drawn by blind lot to be paired with our partners. The Casino was packed more than usual that night so getting to our partners and escorted them to the machines was in itself a bit of a competition. However, with great jocularity and raucous comments from the guests not selected we all found our way to our respective machines. My partner was Glen, an Irishman by birth, who was now living in New York with his wife.  He was relaxed and quiet good natured and our conversation flowed easily as he settled onto his stool and I positioned myself strategically behind him to quickly change spots at the two minute midway mark. In fact our conversation was so engaged that we almost missed the start of the tournament!

To make a horse racing metaphor, we did not break out of the gate cleanly and had some catching up to do right away. Out of nine entries we spent the first 30 seconds mostly in one of the last two spots. Then Glen hit two particularly nice spins and we vaulted all the way to second. Just before the handoff, he had steered us into first place. I acknowledge that the results of slot machines are simple luck but it was great to see the charge through the field to take the lead.

However, by the time we executed our switch we had dropped to second. Moments later the constantly updated scoreboard showed us in 3^rd, than 4^th, until we settled in sixth. Halfway through the second and final two minute period we were sure we were out of the money. But then the climb repeated itself. With 15 seconds left we were in 2^nd but as each second ticked by our position kept changing posting with apparent random direction anywhere from 2^nd to 4^th. When the clock struck zero I waited for the wheels to stop spinning so I didn’t prematurely claim a finish that wasn’t ours. When all the points were counted we were in 2^nd place and Glen had won a $50 onboard credit.

Glen was delighted not only with the prize but simply the fun and excitement of the most intense four minutes in gaming . . . on a ship . . . well, at least the Silhouette. The event wasn’t over as Andrea, the Maitre D’ of Qsine came by with a raffle to win free meals at either Qsine or The Porch, which gave all the guests who held a ticket one more chance to win.

And that’s all anyone really wants, isn’t it, a CHANCE to WIN?

And the adventure continues . . .

Visit from Home Office

March 22, 2012

I’m from Corporate and I’m here to help. Those are the words that no remote location employee of a corporation wants to hear. Having been one of those corporate employees visiting divisions I’ve certainly been the object of that criticism. When people from the corporate office of any corporation arrive they do so with good intentions yet with a major hurdle to overcome. If they are wise they understand that is the perspective and they must humbly work to address that impression.

Still it is vital that the people from the Home Office visit the field to understand the reality of the operation and to ensure a connection between the front lines and those who support the operation from afar. And so, while at port in St. Maarten three of our senior Vice Presidents, from Marine, Hotel, and Human Resources came to visit Silhouette. In an attempt to maximize their time the group from home office planned to visit both Silhouette and Eclipse who as at port with us at the same time. This resulted in a very compressed schedule and a lot of intense coordination between the two ships.

As a result the schedule for this event was refined multiple times as we prepared for the day. Yet, everyone was intent on making this a high impact day for both ships even if it was the favorite port for the crew to go ashore on any Caribbean itinerary. The visit was scheduled to begin with a presentation by the executives on the current objectives and plans for the company. The second step was for our VP of Human Resources to meet with the Crew Welfare teams of both ships. Finally, there were Starring Crew Brunches scheduled for each ship to celebrate the amazing role are crews do in serving our guests. Unfortunately, Eclipse went into OPP Level 2 meaning that our crews were not able to visit each other’s ship. Since it was not possible to join together for the Crew Welfare meeting, no Crew Welfare meeting was done on either ship. This was extremely unfortunate as it limited the interaction between our corporate officers and the crew.

The initial presentation to officers on each ship, done separately, was very informative and inspiring as we celebrated the great work that had been done and clearly embrace the opportunities ahead.  But sadly, for an event that was advertised as a Starring Crew Day was now being mostly conducted at a distance from most of the crew. There was, of course, the Starring Crew Brunch, but on a day when if the crew was not working they would rather be in port the attendance was likely to be sparse. It was an unfortunate choice for those who didn’t stick around.

The brunch was truly spectacular. The main dining room the Grand Cuvee Restaurant was closed for the mid-day meal and turned over to the crew and served an amazing assortment of all the finest foods that are offered to the guests. Prime rib carvings, sushi stations, amazing pastas and soups, crepes, dishes of all kinds and for every taste. The desserts by themselves could have provided an attractive diversity out of which to create an entire meal. (Not healthy, of course, but a whole lot of fun.) To make things even better for the crew the officers served behind the lines, our chance to serve them.

My job at the event, though, was to run our Shining Stars of the Month presentation in which we give awards to the top two guest facing crew members as identified by their peers, the top two non-guest facing crew, and the top manager. The key to the success of this was that our visitors would be there for the presentation. However, they were bouncing back and forth between two ships. Once they returned to Silhouette they needed to eat which delayed the presentation even longer. Fortunately, our Celebrity Orchestra was providing some outstanding jazz to accompany the meal, but more and more crew were finishing their meal and heading into the island. Still, since we had a raffle for a laptop and several other prizes at the end of the meal we still managed to hold onto a couple hundred of the crew. The awards are always fun as they allow us really make the day of five of our crew. Each crew member receives a commemorative plaque, a cash bonus, a shirt and lapel pin, and finally a picture with our captain. What was very special to me was that my cabin steward, Joseph, was one of the recipients which made this truly a personally special day. Overall, the day was a great event. Still, it struck me that due to the defined limitations of time and port the even was less personal for our crew than it could have been, and perhaps needed to be.

So I appreciate the effort of our VPs coming to visit the ship but really look forward to helping them refine this approach to make it even more meaningful for the crew. Ideally crew will look forward to these visits instead of seeing them as an interruption to their schedules.

And the adventure continues . . .

Boccie Ball on the Lawn

March 21, 2012

Despite my success in Dancing With the Stripes, I do have an elegant side, as well. I finally had the chance to prove it when Tim asked me if I wanted to join him in the weekly Officer Guest Boccie game. Now, most of what I learned about Boccie Ball was gleaned by watching old Italian men in San Francisco play what appeared to be a continuous game on 19th Avenue. I knew it had something to do with tossing balls and scoring points, but since there weren’t any pins to knock down, I really didn’t get the scoring system.

But with a chance to get outdoors early in the cruise I took advantage of the invitation to head up to our Lawn Club on Deck 15 for a match. This was the latest entry onto my list of Officer Encounters. Tim was very experienced at this activity and informed me that he and I would be paired as a team to compete against two of the guests. The first guests we met seemed just as clueless as me. This gave me hope that I would not embarrass myself too much. Sadly that was not true in the first two games. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to get the ball to stop once I threw it. I tried a gentle roll, I tried a high toss with back spin, I tried hooks and curls and nothing seemed to work. With the object to place my ball as close to the bullet (a golf ball thrown out onto the lawn in front of us) I was essentially useless to our team. There were a lot of things that I was happy to blame this lack of success upon. The lawn wasn’t putting green smooth. The ship was moving and I couldn’t anticipate the ‘break’ in the green. I was being a good host and letting the guests win. None of that was in the least bit true. I’m very, very competitive and really was doing my best. I just stunk. Not to say that Tim was the slightest bit unkind in evaluating my performance. Definitely not in the slightest. Oh, no, he was all over it ribbing me mercilessly for my incompetence much to our guests’ delight. After two disastrous rounds it was clear that we were out of the game and would not be able to rally back in the final round.

And then, with my final toss in the last hopeless round, I finally figured it out. Throwing a perfectly dead ball with no forward spin, back spin, or twist, the highly arching shot dropped like the stone it virtually is and nestled up against the bullet. Tim grudgingly granted that this was a pretty good shot and our competitors congratulated me roundly, especially since it really wouldn’t make a difference. We were eliminated in the first round which was just fine with Tim as it meant he could get to his afternoon nap.

But for me it was even better. I now had an outdoor guest activity that allowed me to be in the fresh air and the sun for 30 minutes during the cruise. With the Caribbean season soon coming to a close this new pastime was a nice addition to my day. And maybe, just maybe, I can develop the skills to be competitive. Because make no mistake about it, I still hate to lose.

And the adventure continues . . .

Smooth as Glass . . . Welcome to the Twilight Zone

March 20, 2012 – Smooth as Glass . . . Welcome to the Twilight Zone

The ocean leaving port in Bayonne is never smooth. You expected anything different? After all, we are sailing out of New York Harbor throughout the freakin’ winter! And mostly, what you expect is what you get. That is until the mysterious evening of March 19, 2012. On that night things changed.

Think of the smoothest surface of a lake you have ever seen and then take it one level smoother. As we sailed out of Bayonne that evening and into the Atlantic the surface of the ocean took on the eerie consistency of a glass table top. It was purely by accident that I saw it. I normally do not get up on decks much on our first evening out. But due to our efficiency in processing our sign ons during the day, I had changed into my evenings and headed up to the promenade on Deck 5 just as the sun was setting. As I walked out onto the quiet deck, quiet as the early dinner seating had begun, I noticed only one lone figure standing on the deck. It was Mickey Ilarde our acoustic performer. As he had only recently signed on I didn’t yet know him well. But I sidled up alongside him to stare at the mysterious ocean around us. We both admitted that we had never seen a major body of water look so calm. With the sun setting it was almost too picture-perfect. Either this was the most beautiful sight we would ever sea, or maybe it was the last . . .

For we both agreed that this scene was so placid that it could only be the start of a Stephen King novel, or perhaps a Peter Benchley movie. It reminded us of the scene that all precedes terror striking. Remembering that I did have a camera in my pocket I did take a few quick snaps (available on my Facebook page) and then settled back in to the peaceful silence to embrace this rare gift. We both eventually faded from the scene, Mickey to his next set in the Ensemble Lounge and me to my office to process the paper from the day.

This was the start of Lucky Voyage 021. We believed we were in for a fortunate cruise but this mellow start was unexpected. We had just come off a voyage that produced a score of 283 out of 300 on guests Overall Cruise Experience (vs. our goal of 276) and we wondered if this was a sign of an even better cruise ahead. But we didn’t question the gift we had been given or the new possibilities that every new cruise provides.

All we knew was that if ominous music started to play in the background . . . we were ready.

And the adventure continues . . .

Tim Arriving

March 19, 2012 – Tim Arriving

Our new HR Manager, Tim, like Laura is 33 years old. That’s where the similarities end. Laura is Canadian, female, straight, slim, and type A. Tim is none of those things. Tim is English, male, gay, big-boned, and while very bright, knowledgeable, and very able to make a quick and firm decision, he is equally as able to see the whole range of possibilities floating past. Transitioning from Laura to Tim was not going to be a predictable task.

Given that I enjoyed working with Laura so much I’m sure I also prepared for there to be problems working with the new HR manager. But Tim cut to the chase right away. On our very first day working together he wanted to know how I liked to be managed and when I said that I liked ‘hands off’ managers who were available if I needed them, he affirmed that was his style of management and as long as I got the job done we’d get along quite well. And truth be told, we have.

In fact, Tim is probably more hands off than Laura which is the perfect transition for me as I’ve gone from complete greenhorn to knowledgeable apprentice. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to be around intelligent, clever people. Tim absolutely fits that mode. The biggest issue I had in the transition is Tim’s spontaneous nature while in the office. Where Laura and I could work in silence in adjoining offices for hours, sometimes communicating if we had to with a quick text or email, Tim is far more likely to shout out ‘Dave’ or even, ‘Davey,’ which elicits the corresponding response from me. It has taken some adjustment to realize that I won’t always get the same long blocks of heads down time in the middle of the day, but the resulting high energy and amusement certainly makes the days sail past. Tim is correspondingly far better at balancing work and relaxation, and one to two times a day we get coffee together providing a chance to decompress even before the stress has a chance to build up to any daunting level. We also share an affinity for the Tuscan Grill specialty restaurant onboard ship and we have been able to catch a couple of meals up there already, a great way to relax at the end of the day and learn about each other’s lives and backgrounds. He is English, of course, so he does talk funny . . . but I’m sure he’d say the same about me.

Best yet, he has agree to sponsor Rosie to come on board for the last week of my cruise, a privilege I would not have until I returned for my second contract. His rationale being, of course, that we all must be related somehow and he’s happy to invite his cousin onboard.

Tim is also determined to return to his ideal weight and has stunned me with his precise commitment to a healthy diet and working out. Discipline is also a characteristic that I completely respect and Tim certainly demonstrates that in spades. When he wants to, of course. But given that he has already lost over 5 of the 20 kilos he’s trying to lose and that in only three weeks time, he shows that level of personal motivation that I truly respect.

Sadly Tim doesn’t do Dancing With the Stripes nor drink martinis with me, something that Laura and I made part of our tradition. But he has introduced me to Bocce on the Lawn with the guests, so I’ll just have to find others to accompany me on those other adventures. For Tim brings his own portfolio of talent, skill, experience and fun, which result in new experiences ahead. And, yes . . .

The adventure continues . . .

Laura Leaving

March 18, 2012 – Laura Leaving

Your first team on a ship is very special as they provide the support group that allows you to make the transition from shore to ship. I already had to lose one of that initial group when Yez left in February. But now the landscape was going to radically change even more with Laura’s upcoming vacation. Laura was not only my teammate but my first manager on board ship. As a former T&D she was a great mentor in getting me settled in this new life and new role. And now she was continuing her adventure but on  a different path.

On Celebrity we have what is called the Buddy Program to get new crew members up-to-speed. For the Buddy Program to work successfully, the mentor assigned to each new crew member must be in the same department, work the same shift, and ideally do the same or similar job. They are to guide and instruct the new CM in all those things that would help them acclimate. Laura was not only my first manager but she was my Buddy. I learned more from Laura in my first 30 days on board than I have learned from any other coworker in my entire career. She was the perfect Buddy and an excellent manager.

More than just a manager, though, she became a friend. We are wired very much alike, although she is Canadian and since I am American there are certainly dome differences. I will never be as passionate about hockey or ever understand curling. But our work and personality styles were very similar. Both being workaholics allowed plenty of time to spend hours in just two short months honing my skills. As a hands-off manager she guided me with the perfect managerial style, giving me objectives to achieve and minimal guidance to allow me to succeed or fail without too much interruption. Although she is twenty years my junior we maintained mutual respect for each other’s expertise and contribution.

But Laura’s date for vacation finally came and she left us on St. Patrick’s Day. I have generally enjoyed St. Paddy’s Day, with the celebration of the Irish part of my heritage. But this day was different. First, because it was Turnaround, which is my busiest day of each cruise cycle. Second, I was not able to ‘wear the green,’ as I needed to be in proper uniform. Finally, I knew Laura would be leaving at 12:15pm that day which did not have me feeling like celebrating. Our team met early that morning as we usually do to start immigration for those who had recently joined the ship and emigration for those who would be signing off. It is a busy time and there is little time for small talk as we must focus on moving forward with the task at hand. Laura played two roles that morning, first as the HR Manager for the ship and second as a crew member who was signing off. After we finished the sign-offs, she and I sent out to  The Tent at the port in Bayonne to process our new crew members who were signing on, including our next HR Manager. That process occurred in a blur resulting in me needed to re-board the ship to head up to SKY B to work with all our sign-ons to ensure all their paperwork was complete. As the minutes ticked by I worried that Laura would simply sneak off the ship without saying goodbye to the team, while we were busy engaged in our tasks.

At exactly 12:15pm she called, “I’m at the gangway, where are you?” I had just returned to my office and immediately bolted down the I-95 to say goodbye. She and her boyfriend Joseph where there with their bags and ready to go. Unlike most of the crew they would not be boarding the bus to the airport, but would be taking a private car as their flight was later to embark on a well-earned four day mini-vacation to Jamaica before Joseph joined the Century and Laura started her vacation at home. We said a quick goodbye and she said longer goodbyes to Dwight and Lavern. She started to tow her large bag down the gangway and not yet ready to see this important new friend leave, I offered to take her bag for her to the car. Laura is a very strong and independent chica, but she quickly said ‘yes.’ I walked with Joseph, Laura, and our port agent, George, down the gangway and across the dock to the waiting car.

The goodbyes at the care were longer and a little more emotional. I found myself getting a little choked up at the thought of this new friend departing with no guarantee of ever crossing paths, again. With one last hug, Laura and Joseph dove into the car and I turned on my heel to walk toward the Teardrop Monument to collect my thoughts before returning to the ship. Halfway between the car and the monument I turned to give one final wave and as the car was pulling out, saw Laura turn and press her face against the back window as she waved goodbye.

She would head to Jamaica, home to Canada, onto Century to provide vacation relief, back to Canada for a brief vacation, onto Reflection to open the new ship, and then transfer back to Century to be their permanent HR Manager. Her adventure would continue on a different path than mine. And I hope someday those paths will cross, again.

And the adventure continues . . .

Coach Dunzel

March 17, 2012 – Coach Dunzel

I’ve always told my children that you can choose your actions but you can’t choose the consequences. Every choice we make in life necessarily limits other paths. While the choice to join Celebrity seems so clearly right to me, it definitely came with a cost. The cost of being away from family is somewhat tolerable as I know we will always have future experiences together. But the cost of leaving my Forensics team is much harder to bear for each tournament is a moment in time lost as they move down the path toward graduation.

This was the weekend of the Colorado State Speech and Debate Tournament. For the first time in seven years I would not be at that tournament. Even more dramatically, I was supposed to be the assistant chair of the tournament, leading to my being the chair in 2013. Instead I would be on a ship hundreds of miles off the East Coast. It was very hard, as it had been two weeks earlier to be that far away from my team. It was harder emotionally to know how they would be able to continue to move forward with achieving their goals with me completely out

Star Trek fans from the 1960s will recognize the reference in the title. In an early episode, Captain James T. Kirk is replaced by an ‘automated captain,’ a computer that has been designed to do everything a human captain can do, only better. Kirk is asked to stay on Enterprise to simply monitor the computer’s performance, and soon realizes in all the tests that the computer is outperformed him. At the end of the test, the fleet Admiral sends him a message, “Congratulations, Captain Dunzel.” Dunzel, you see, was an old Star Fleet Academy term for something that was out-of-date and unnecessary. As the results rolled in from State tournament, I began to feel like Captain Kirk.

For the first time in the school’s history St. Mary’s High School Forensics won not one, but TWO state championships in events in the same speech and debate competition. In addition, another entry finished 3^rd in their event, and a final entry finished 6^th. This was by far and away the best State Championship showing by any St. Mary’s Forensics teams and easily one of the best in the state. And it all happened with me thousands of miles away. It was a great reminder that we are all dispensable. When it comes to forensics, it really comes down to the talent and honed skill of the students who walk into the room to compete. When I finally received the email of the results I was both elated for these remarkable kids and a little melancholy that I wasn’t there. I was proud of Rosie and Dani for the great job they had done in continuing to coach and lead this team in my absence. I was immensely proud of all their efforts.

And with simple recognition, and without self-pity, I accepted my new title, Coach Dunzel.

And the adventure continues . . .

Formal Night Dinner

March 16, 2012 – Formal Night Dinner

With all the dining options available on our ship there is one place we generally don’t eat, and it might surprise you. The Main Dining room, or as it is called on Silhouette, The Grand Cuvee restaurant. The reason for this is fairly logistical in nature. These are assigned tables and generally very full. So, really, where are we to sit? However, if you feel a need to go you will generally request to join the main dining room experience at the late seating, which is generally a little lighter. And you must get permission from the Hotel Director or Staff Captain to do so.

Laura’s birthday occurred during this last cruise and the team wished to do a celebratory dinner for her, both for the birthday and as a bon voyage meal prior to her departure. Laura doesn’t like a fuss being made for her and with her efforts to ensure a smooth transition she was generally working late into the evening. She initially suggested that any going away dinner should be at the buffet at the Ocean View Café, our casual dining option. However, we reminded her that the ritual of something more special was important to us and she finally acceded to our request. Since her boyfriend, Joseph, was also traveling on the cruise she made the request for us to dine at Grand Cuvee.

To make it very special she identified the last formal night as the evening for our celebration. Not only would this put us amongst our guests in their favorite regalia (kilts seem to be in this year . . . seriously!), but it would add many of the time honored sea traditions. During the course of the evening we would have the parade of waiters and waitresses around the dining room with the guests napkins all waiving in the air. Then there would be the introduction of the chefs, maitre d’ s, and restaurant managers, all of this accompanied by our Celebrity orchestra who was playing positioned on the grand staircase between the two levels of the restaurant. Of course the menu included a lobster tail option and finished with Baked Alaska. The evening was topped off with the whole restaurant singing Old Lang Syne. All those well worn traditions get you thinking about icebergs, even as you ply the waters of the Caribbean.

All the pageantry was quite memorable. When our Cruise Director, Lisa, asked each section to cheer for their waiter and assistant waiter, the roar was ear-splitting. As for the food I chose to select the chef’s recommendations which led me to several savory choices, topped off by a lamb shank that may have been one of the top five meat dishes I’ve ever eaten. No, I didn’t choose either the lobster tail or the Baked Alaska (been there, done that) but the experience was memorable. Dwight brought out the camera and we had Tanja, the assistant Maitre D’ , take our team’s picture. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen a copy of that, yet.

When we left the restaurant, as one of the final guests to leave for the evening, we realized another chapter was soon to come to an end. We tarried for far too long in the restaurant’s foyer and were soon joined by several other officers who had completed their long days as well. When we realized that the number of uniforms together looked like a military convention was in full swing we knew it was time to call it a night. Laura properly feted, a new dining experience recorded, and more memories made.

And the adventure continues . . .

Oz on the Summit

March 15, 2012 – Oz on the Summit

For those who know my affinity for the musical, this blog is NOT a tribute to Wicked. Although the word Oz in the title of this segment does originally derive from the story about Dorothy and her companions, it is actually the name of an accountability training that Laura was called upon to deliver on one of our sister ship’s, Celebrity Summit, that day in St. Kitts. This class had been planned for some time, recognizing the availability of a trained instructor on one ship who could deliver the course to another. As it is not often that two of our ships are together in port, despite the number of times we seem to be docking this season with Eclipse, this convergence was something the company wished to take advantage of. Now the Oz training usually is 6 to 8 hours in length. Laura felt she could comfortably complete it in 5, hoping to reach Summit by 10am which would allow us back to our ship by 3pm.

But all this was planned long before that this was going to be the day of both our Boat Drill and the Master’s Quarterly. Right away, we knew we were down to a window of 3 ½ to 4 hours, but Miami wished us Laura still to make the run and to bring me along so that I could learn to facilitate this course, as well. Then the final wrinkle was thrown into our plan. St. Kitts was to be an unusually busy port that morning which meant that Summit would not even be docked. Instead of walking across or along a dock to reach her, we would have to catch a tender to her at anchor in the harbor. Time just got shorter. With no option offered but to do our best we worked out a tightly crafted plan.

As soon as the Master’s Quarterly ended, we dropped down two decks to the Crew Mess for a turbo-charged lunch. Then minutes later, at 11:45, we gulped down our last bites and headed straight to the gangway, having ensured that all materials we needed were with us from the moment the Boat Drill ended. Of course there had to be one more snag for as we reached the bottom of the gangway our Crew Admin, Lavern, was standing there with two visiting crew from Summit who had run into a minor problem. With all possible alacrity the problem was dispensed and Laura and I headed briskly down to the dock and into the port area so that we could immediately make a hard left and cross to the tender dock. We surrendered our APasses which was a bit uncomfortable for me as this is the key to our shipboard identity. Instead we were handed Visitor badges so that we could embark onto the tender. Ten minutes later we approached Summit at anchor.

This would be my first time on a different Celebrity ship and, in addition, it was a ship from another class. Celebrity ships are divided into the Century class, established in 1995, the Millennium class, which we started to build in 2000, and finally the Solstice class which began in 2005. Silhouette is the newest of the Solstice class. So not only would I be on another ship, I would experience a different configuration. As we transitioned from the tender up the gangway to Summit we were warmly greeted by Mary, their T&D Manager. Advising that the managers to be trained were already in their conference center we hurried up the staircase and quickly set up for what now could not be more than a two-and-a-half hour class.

Laura would now be tasked with training over twenty managers and officers from another ship given only 40% of the time she ideally needed for the class. She hit the ground running and was just getting up to speed when another interruption presented itself in the form of the Summit’s Captain, who decided to stop by to thank his team for taking the training and Laura for coming over to teach. Lovely gesture but practically problematic.  With a quick reset, Laura started again and we were off.

To say that she killed this class is an understatement. Laura deftly covered all the key elements, kept it interactive, and definitely fast-paced and we finished in 2 hours and 45 minutes. Although we wanted a tour of the ship we had very little time to look around. Summit had just undergone a renovation based on the success of the Solstice class ships. She had been “Solsticized,” and it was fun to see several of our spaces translated onto her decks, albeit with a less grand application of space. After a couple of quick pictures with Mary and their HR Manager, Becki, we jumped back onto the tender, the second to last that would leave the ship and landed near our dock just before 4pm.

With 20 minutes grace period until we were supposed to be on board, we decided that a cold beer would taste just great given the warm day and the constant movement. But just before we entered a waterside bar we remembered we were still in uniform and the sight of two officers slamming down a beer before racing back to their ship would not be a good image. Instead we agreed that once on board we would stop in Mingles and have the cold brew there. But just as we reached the top of our gangway we heard Laura’s name called. Her boyfriend, Joseph, who was accompanying her on her final cruise with us had just gotten back from his shore excursion. With a quick ‘I’m sorry’ look she appropriately  joined him and I wandered back to my cabin to try to take a break. However, the pace of the day had been so rapid that I couldn’t slow down my brain. So after only a few short minutes I returned to my office to put that adrenaline to work. Another full and complete day at sea.

And the adventure continues . . .

The Master’s Quarterly

March 14, 2012

First let me ensure that you don’t make the same mistake my limited naval vocabulary led me to. There is a difference between a Master’s Hearing and the Master’s Quarterly. A Master’s Hearing is a bad thing . . . a very bad thing. If you have committed a major infraction or have a long list of minor ones it is possible that you will be called before the Captain, the ultimate authority on the ship. Nobody wants a Master’s Hearing. If it doesn’t go well, and at that point it usually doesn’t, you will be soon walking down the gangway for the very last time.

A Master’s Quarterly, on the other hand, should be considered a good thing. Once a quarter the ‘Master,’ the official title for the Captain (think of the movie “Master and Commander”), holds a meeting with the entire ship. Okay, it is never the entire ship as we still need to serve our guests, but we hope to get 70-80% of the crew in attendance. It is not a long meeting, ideally a half an hour, but it is a chance for the Captain to address his crew about important ship business and to thank them for their service. It is held in the Silhouette Theater, as that is the one venue large enough on our ship for the entire crew. So, it must be informative, engaging, and with a reason for the crew to attend other than simply compliance. With this captain and this crew, that is not a problem.

If Dimitrios Kafetzis was not a ship’s captain, I think he would probably be a Vegas performer. When he addresses the guests he does so with a wry sense of humor and charming demeanor. He likes to put on a show. So that was put to good use as he entered the theater that day. There was no simple introduction with the Captain striding to the stage. Not with Captain Kafetzis.

As the music began to swell and we recognized the James Bond theme smoke began to rise from the trap door in the center of the stage that was opening.Moments later a vision appeared to rise above the fog. On either side were ‘Bond girls,’ actually two of our female security guards in dark glasses, and in the middle was the man himself, arms folded with all the machismo he could bring, our Master and Commander. The crew roared its appreciation appreciating the note of fun with which we began. As the Captain bid adieu to his escorts and strode to the microphone a video began to play on the giant screen behind the stage of crew members giving their filmed responses to what it means to bring the STAR Service philosophy to our guests. Some were serious, some cute, and some quite sweet, but the funniest part was the ‘outtakes’ at the end as those interviewed fumbled and stumbled or vamped for the camera. The energy was certainly high.

Yet, we needed to get down to business. The Captain needed to give a talk as we entered into Spring Break season on how to protect yourself and the ship from serious accusations of sexual assault. Something of which I have only recently become aware is there are some disreputable people who will come on cruise ships and try to seduce crew members so that they can then claim sexual assault and collect a large settlement from the company. This is a critical topic to cover clearly and well and I had been asked to draft the presentation for the Captain, as each word must be exact. Our Captain, of course, needed to put his own spin on it which had me holding my breath for the next ten minutes. At the end of the day he got the message across although I felt kinship with Toby and Sam from the West Wing television series. (If you don’t know the series, you will just have to watch a season and figure it out.)

After that serious topic he continued by thanking the crew for our great ratings and the amazing job that was done when USPH came on board to review our Turnaround Barrier cleaning when we were fighting the norovirus. We were told by them that we should be the standard by which all other cruise ships are judged and that was a major kudo for the crew. To complete the crew rewards we then conducted a raffle for both a free laptop and an $800 airline ticket credit, communications and travel being the two most important needs on board ship. (In case you are wondering I personally created the 1232 strips of paper that were put into that raffle box.)

And just that quickly this key event in ships life for which we had been planning for two weeks was over. But the entire crew had seen and laughed with their Captain and left the theater ‘feeling the love.’ It had been a full day for Laura and me as I had started the day with an Ethics training class followed by the aforementioned Boat Drill. But our day wasn't even beginning to slow down.

And the adventure continues . . .

Americans on Board

March 13, 2012

There are only about 50 Americans among our 1200+ person crew at any time. At least that is the official estimate that we hear. However, one dancer decided she was going to try to count them and only came up with 25. Regardless, you get the picture. Even if we have 50 that means only 4% of the crew is from the U.S. The thought that it is probably closer to 2% definitely feels closer to reality.

Not that it matters, much. It isn’t like Americans choose to only commingle with others from the 50 states. That just isn’t our style. There are other nationalities, which are represented at much higher levels, where you see that happening more frequently. But given our scarcity and the nature of most Americans as a little more outgoing than peers from other nations, it is the norm that we simply reach out to the nearly 70 nationalities represented on our ship. Still, it is enjoyable to sit down and have a meal with people whose life experience is much closer to yours.

The reason there are so few Americans is simple economics. Most Americans, when they can get a job, will choose the higher paying job on land to the nomad’s life of the sea. For most of our crew the wages they earn with Celebrity are far higher than anything they can get in their own countries. I encourage anyone who thinks that these hardworking people are taking American jobs to apply for one of the many positions on this ship. They will be distressed by the low pay and the constant work. That brief editorial was simply a way of reinforcing why there are so few Americans working on ships. That being said the motivation for those of us who do make this choice is rarely economics. For the younger men and women it is generally a great chance to get experience that will transfer to land later. For entertainers, it is an opportunity to get steady work in their chosen profession. For others, it is the chance for adventure, to live a dream, or to follow their star.

The vast majority of the Americans onboard Silhouette are our entertainers. Our production singers and dancers are highly biased toward American talent. Yes, we have a few dancers from other countries: Patrick from Canada, Alrico from South Africa, just to name two, but all the lead singers are American, our Cruise Director is American, as are several of our dancers. (The same dancers, by the way, who choose to once a cruise have gelato for dinner . . . just because the can. It’s great to be young, athletic, and burning several thousand calories a day!) Our Celebrity Orchestra, our ‘house band,’ is virtually all American, led by our bandmaster, Nick, whose dad I found out much to my dismay was born in the same year as me. One of my favorite musicians in that group is Mike who plays the wickedest trombone east of New Orleans. Fortunately, he is my age group which makes me like him even more. Our Jazz band is virtually always American, as this is a truly American music form. The  a Capella group follows suit for the same reason. Our Party Band is not. That seems to be the province of the Filipino musicians. Wow, I’ve almost exhausted the list. Those that run our guest facing i-Lounges are also as American as an Apple Macintosh. Occasionally, you will find someone working in hotels or finance that is American, and with increasing frequency Americans are populating the role of T&D.

As I teach in our Cultural Diversity course this gives us each the opportunity to explore the cultures of people you won’t normally see in your lifetimes. What a unique opportunity for each of us to grow. As one guest told me based on her experience, “if ever world peace is achieved, it will be by nations learning from Celebrity Cruise Lines.” But still, it is nice when you can speak with common cultural references in similar American accents, yearning for the same things that we miss. It is comforting. Which explains to us why some of the more highly represented cultures do tend to seek out primarily the company of their countrymen.

But for Americans onboard . . .

The adventure continues . . .

Two Drills in Two Days! Really?

March 12, 2012

Once a cruise we pretend that something really bad has happened. No, not a crisis like running out of coffee to keep us awake or only nine flavors of gelato in the gelataria. No, we practice for something really major like happened to the Titanic 100 years ago. Every twelve days, always on a port day when a majority of the guests are ashore, we practice a pre-determined emergency response scenario leading to an Abandon Ship exercise.  No more than ten percent of the crew may be excused from this drill as it is critical that we all know what we need to do in the unlikely event of a real emergency.

These drills are entirely predictable, so much so that I schedule my classes around them, conveniently scheduling my shortest course for just before the Boat Drill. These drills are so predictable that they are on the training schedule. Although the time indicated is ‘sometime in the morning,’ the reality is that it generally starts around 10:15am. It begins with the Cruise Director getting on the ship’s PA and stating that the following announcement is for the crew and the crew only. When we hear this preparatory remark we begin to set our work aside and move into emergency response mode. We then hear an emergency code proclaimed and based on that instruction we leap into action. However, knowing it is a drill we generally pre-position ourselves near where we need to be to ensure we are properly equipped for the scenario. I’ve often wondered how much of a valid drill this really is as real emergencies would generally not be so courteous with their scheduling. However, it does allow us time to practice our response creating muscle memory for the moment when a real emergency occurs.

We never have a second drill during a cruise. There is so much to accomplish in a given cruise cycle that there simply isn’t time for it. Also, since it poses an inconvenience for our guests onboard we try to minimize the impact. This cruise we had completed our drill, and given the excellent safety record of cruise lines, had our minds back on raising the level of service for guests and crew. During this voyage’s drill I continued to be impressed with all the steps taken to respond to a fire, especially regarding how boundary control is established to ensure that the fire does not spread. The following day I resumed a full load of crew training glad we had that practice but also glad that we didn’t have to endure that hour long interruption to our schedule for twelve more days. I was just completing a class in my training room when without any prologue the emergency code was given over the PA.

I was so caught by surprise that I’m sure I exhibited the classic deer in the headlights look. I slapped my laptop closed, looked at the students and said, “class dismissed,” and headed past them out the door and up the stairs at a brisk pace. As I passed other crew members in the corridor there was a confused look on several of them while the others just looked clueless. Within two minutes I was in my office, grabbed my radio, and reported readiness to the Bridge. Seconds later the instruction came back telling me where the forward incident team was staging, which is my first stop in any emergency. I strode rapidly up three decks and all the way forward to where the staging area was located. The Safety Officer caught me as soon as I arrived and pointing to a ship’s blueprint hastily attached to the bulkhead simply said that the fire was in the crew mess galley and I was to head up two more decks to position myself halfway between the incident and the bridge. With only a brief acknowledgement I went up to my intermediate station to monitor all communications. Up to this point I was still not sure if this was a real emergency or another drill. As I listened to the reports coming in over the next five minutes I was assured to realize that it was ‘just a drill.’ But for those first ten minutes the heightened adrenaline made this response very real.

Why the second drill? Once a year we have a flag review where the US Coast Guard comes onboard to ensure all of our procedures and practices are in order. They had come onboard that morning and insisted on witnessing a drill. I’m pleased to say we passed with flying colors. The only thing I know is that our ‘muscle memory’ is clearly in place. With focus, professionalism, and expediency the crew of Silhouette had responded quickly and effectively to this emergency. It was easily our best drill, yet.

And the adventure continues . . .

The Mid-Cruise Slump

March 11, 2012

Given all the energy with which I burst onto the Celebrity scene, the warnings I received rolled quickly off my back. This fearsome foe for those who work at sea seemed no more real to me than the Kracken. But this nemesis proves consistently to be more real and far more of a threat than any mythological creature of the deep.

The Mid-Cruise Slump refers to the predictable bout of lethargy and depression that affects virtually every crew member in the weeks centered on the midpoint of their contract. I had watched it occur in others. You remember my earlier story of Jess, the I-95 Cleaner? His was a predictable case of mid-cruise slump and I remember how day-by-day he came out of that slump and slowly regained the energy and the spirit to complete his contract with high spirits. Yet, given the connection that I immediately felt to this job, the affirmation I have felt from the crew, and the reserves of energy I had when I started, I never expected it to happen to me.

Of course, it did. Just under two months into my contract I found my boundless energy limited at the edges, harder to engage in the morning, more difficult to keep at the end of the day. Many mornings I found myself wanting nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep. The first conscious thought was a quick calculation of the number of days completed and the number of days left. My lower back, the most accurate barometer of my state of mind grew tight and painful. I have always chosen to walk the stairs instead of taking the lifts, but some days each step climbed seemed to take all the spring out of my legs. I clearly had hit my slump. Too far from the start to have the freshness of vacation and too far from the end to be motivated by the chance to return home for awhile, it reminds me of hitting the wall in a marathon.  

What does it take to climb the other side of the valley? There is only one cure and that is time. With each passing day, you draw closer to the point when the number of days behind you is greater than those remaining. Pretty soon you start to make plans for how you will spend your days on land, the people you will visit and the things you will do. When I conduct the Sign Off meetings for those who are leaving at the end of a cruise, I will start to project myself into their place. Plans will be made to hand over my position for two months to my vacation replacement. And probably faster than I will expect, I will be walking down that gangway celebrating a contract successfully completed.

This feeling does not represent a desire to be doing something else, but reflects the reality of running a marathon at a sprinter’s pace. I believe that when I walk down that gangway, I will look back up at Silhouette and begin counting the days until I return to the greetings of my new friends and acquaintances. It is that acknowledgment that reminds me that this current feeling is only a slump. It is the necessary cycle that accompanies this phenomenal experience. It will happen on my next contract, and the one after that, perhaps for many more years to come.

And the adventure continues . . .